SOME PERSONAL NEWS:

Some of my favourite tweet types I love to hate are the ‘some personal news’ announcements. They are usually people telling us how they got married, or engaged or have started an incredible newsletter or podcast. They make my buttocks cringe from the inside out. I’d like to see a few more like these:

Some personal news: I am turning into a pigeon! I first thought the feathers were a hormonal but they have since turned into a pair of soft grey wings. None of this was planned and while I have enjoyed having a mouth, I look forward to the exciting challenges a beak presents.

Some personal news: I married a clock!

Some personal news: I am shrinking! I have gotten so small that today I fell through a sieve and am currently being stirred into a cake.

Some personal news: I have recently learned my unplanned conception triggered the breakdown of my parents formally happy marriage plunging them into enduring and immeasurable pain. Psoriasis now covers 75% of my body and neither of them have ever remarried. I have 27 years left on my mortgage. Le haim!

WELL, PLOT TWIST! I AM NOW ONE OF THOSE AR*SEH*LES because I have news!

Thanks to Kirstie McDermott, I have a column in House and Home magazine documenting me and my home. I misread her email at first and thought she was offering me a Golum from Lord of the Rings. Well, I love LOTR so I replied I’d love one. Was it a garden ornament or a stuffed toy? After a confusing time for us both, I finally grasped what she was talking about.

Now, REAL TALK, I really felt like a dope putting it on Instagram and Twitter during the week, because, ‘nobody cares Esther’ which is the correct way to look at most things I think. I have not cured a deadly disease or gotten The Lyrics Board back on our teles (yet). At the same time, I was so excited when I saw an email in my inbox from Kirstie a little while back. I celebrate it for *me* but please don’t think I am wally who is hyping herself up (even though I will shite on about it on Instagram etc every time it comes out). I have perspective and all that. I know that life can be giant stinking dino turds and then seven seconds later, a moment of joy. And then turds again. So we seize the great tiny moments but not the turds. Although SEIZE THE TURDS would be great stitched onto a cushion.

The latest issue should be in shops now so p-p-pick up a copy! I’ve read more interior mags than I’ve had hot dinners and H&H is a REALLY good one.

THINGS I ENJOYED THIS WEEK:

Aoife Barry and Lauren Murphy’s podcast Get Around To It 

It’s a ‘culture podcast’ where they ‘get around to watching, reading and listening to stuff we wanted to get around to’. They do the work so you don’t have to. Cultural cheat notes.

The Creep Dive: I love the Creep Dive but this story about Larry and his lawn chair had me snorting with laughter. It doesn’t end well for Larry, but for the first bit of the story, I laughed openly walking through the Carolyn Donnelly section in Dunnes.

Listen to this Roisin Murphy song. It’s almost nine minutes long so you can really get into your ‘I’m the star of this video’ vibes.

AND FINALLY:

If there is some project you want to do or you’re gearing yourself up to clean the jacks, this piece of music (https://youtu.be/Vajhs2wBeCU) by Anna Meredith might put fire in your feet. I heard it whilst watching Eight Grade (https://youtu.be/KnesHAtSHzs) and I had to go and listen to the whole thing immediately. I’m sure I’m well behind the curve and you’ve all heard it before but in case you haven’t, enjoy.

And that is all for now so toddleoo!

Please go and buy 18-22 copies of this month’s House and Home ; )

Copyright © Esther O’Moore Donohoe. 2019. All rights reserved.