SURPRISE!

I bet you were walking down the road, looking at your phone, not a care in the world, thinking to yourself ‘Ah! Esther has forgotten to send out her little newsletter today. What a slother!’ Then all of a sudden SURPRISE BISHES! I swoop into your face like a five foot eleven, double barrelled seagull, snatch your jambon and leave behind a present, typed with my beak, in your inbox. I AM THE SEAGULL OF THE NEWSLETTER GAME! ALWAYS BE ON YOUR GUARD!

I am going to go for a fly now and soak up the last of the evening sun but before I do, here are a few tiny joys from me.

A FEW TINY JOYS FROM ME, ESTHER: HALF HUMAN, HALF GULL

VOUCH FOR ME

Change is inevitable as we move through life. Sometimes it comes so suddenly, we have no way to brace ourselves in advance. But change also occurs at a glacial pace, making adjustments to our character so minute, we barely notice.

A change within me has been coming for some time now, but in recent weeks, I have felt increasingly compelled to express it. I suppose I knew it would happen someday, I am my mother’s daughter after all, but I didn’t think the day would come so soon. I tried to resist. ‘Now’s not the right time Esther, you absolute maverick and complete legend’ I’d tell myself. But is there ever a right time for change? I couldn’t confide in any of my friends so I turned to the only woman who would understand me, m’mum.

After chatting with her, I felt emboldened and brave enough to step into the unknown. So last Tuesday, at approximately 8:30pm, I went online…and bought a Pigsback.com voucher for a two night hotel stay in Cork including breakfast both mornings!!! I ESTHER O’MOORE DONOHOE, BOUGHT A PIGSBACK VOUCHER AND FEEL NO SHAME!

I’ve been curious about vouchers for a long time. Sure, they worked for other people but I live in Dublin 8 and regularly pay* €32.50 for three slices of sourdough bread from the shop around the corner that’s never focking open. ‘No no. I’ve got a keep cup, vouchers aren’t for me. Try next door’. IT TURNS OUT THOUGH, THEY BLOODY, RUDDY ARE 100% FOR ME.

I release myself from the shame of seeking out discounted hotel stays and look forward to eating my body weight in rashers and indulging in between five and seven treatments during my time off.

P.S *I do not pay this amount for bread. The actual cost is €87.93 for three slices of sourdough around these parts. €32.50 is the price for a bag of stale crusts sold in old, unrinsed jam jars.

P.P.S I’m sure I don’t need to point this out, but I have no affiliation to Pigsback.com whatsoever, just in case anyone wants to report me to the police. WHO WOULD PAY ME TO WRITE THIS DOO DOO. But seriously, who? ; )

NEW PODCAST. WHO DIS?

My guest for tomorrow’s episode of le p’cast is the one and only, Glenda Gilson. Her gorgeous son, Bobby was also with us when we recorded so it was a slightly truncated chat but still great to talk to her. In the meantime, you can listen to me talk with Rose of Tralee (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rose_of_Tralee_(festival)) host Daithi O’Se (https://play.acast.com/s/the-80-with-esther-omoore-donohoe/tag%3Asoundcloud%2C2010%3Atracks%2F488254287) from last year, just before the 2018 competition. I got the Limerick and Dublin Roses in the work draw so G’WAN THE WOMEN.
HOME SWEET HOME

I hadn’t heard of Domino until I saw Lena Dunham’s home was featured in it last week, along with a wonderful article she wrote. Besides Dunham’s words, the website is full of great interiors which is perfect for you if interiors give you a boner. However, the ultimate interior magazine is House and Home of course, which is where my column lives so go and treat yourself to a copy right this very moment ; )

HAVE A JAIL-Y GOOD TIME

I’ve just started watching Orange Is The New Black on Netflix and I love it. I understand I am 300 years behind everyone else but that’s okay. There are lots of great things in each episode it to comment on and stroke my beard at but I have to get ready for tomorrow and shower so take my word for it when I say I think you should watch it.

SHUT THE BOOK UP

I am reading I’m Eat When I’m Dead by Barbara Balfour this week. This is the first book Balfour wrote and I am enjoying it v mucho. It’s easy to read, set in New York, fashion world, murder, hot detective etc. The author worked in magazines for years so has lots of insider detail.

Now, it’s getting dark so adios until next time my invisible friends. Share the link with your real life, visible friends if you think they’d like to read about a woman buying hotel vouchers. ROCK AND ROLL BABIES!

EO’MD.

Copyright © 2019 Esther O’Moore Donohoe. All rights reserved.